The Journey West: How I ended up in San Francisco

For those of you who don't know about my life in missions, I wanted to write the story of how I got here. I'll think to myself sometimes, and feel myself even that maybe I'm not able to give a good picture in conversations I've had with people.  I'll think, "If I don't even fully feel like I know what I'm talking about, how are they supposed to?"  So, to finally have a definitive place to say how I ended up on the path I'm on, full of evidence of God's guidance and plenty of adventure, here we are.

The Journey West

DTS

In the fall of 2008, almost half a year after I graduated high school, I set off on a Discipleship Training School, or DTS in San Francisco with the organization Youth with a Mission, or YWAM.  When I was still in school, I had been planning on going to YWAM's base in Montana, because my brother had gone there for his DTS.  But a friend of mine, at that time doing the same school in SF texted me one day and told me they thought I would really fit in at San Francisco's YWAM base.  So I prayed about it for about a month or so, and finally decided that I would choose San Francisco.

An incredibly stretching experience, the DTS forced me to go outside the bounds of what I knew it was to be a Christian, and challenged me to live my whole life missionally dedicated to Christ no matter where I was.  I grew to love YWAM and the community they had developed in San Francisco.  Before DTS, God had put on my heart the call to reach out to the homeless, downtrodden people of the streets.  In San Francisco, I got a real glimpse at the hurt and struggle people face on the streets.  And I went home.  After three months of lecture, and three months of overseas outreach to Thailand and Vietnam, I went back home to Ohio.

Ohio

Back in Ohio, I didn't really know what I was doing.  My relationship of nine months, which I had started before my DTS, ended soon after I arrived home.  The plans I had made while on DTS, for what to do after DTS, were shattered and I really didn't know what was next.  Unbeknownst at the time, I wasn't listening to God.  Through a series of events that had been going on in the background of my life, I had been training myself not to listen to God, but to replace Him with my own voice.  In Ohio, just working a job, I went on like this for the next six months, until I had had enough.

Six months after my DTS, I was tired of not knowing where my life was going.  I was spinning my wheels in Ohio, unsure of what to do.  With a longing for the missions field, but a lack of trust in God, I was stuck.  I told God, "Alright, I've had it.  What do you want me to do?" And He told me, I'd get my answer from an unexpected source.  One day I went to my friends house to meet up with a groups of people.  My friend was packing up to move to Colorado to live with another friend of mine and his wife.  The thought of driving half way across the country was awesome to me.  Just then, my brother called me up, right when I was at my friend's house, and suggested that I take my car and drive out to visit him for a while in Utah where he was living.  The second he told me, I felt like there was something else going on here.  I asked God right in that moment if this was Him guiding me, and I felt like He said it, the thing that changed the whole course of everything, "Yes."  So, very awkwardly, I asked my friend if I could follow them down.  I would stay at my friend's place, get a job, and work for the first time on my own out in Colorado.  Or at least that's what I thought.

Brekenridge, Colorado

About 1.5 weeks later, and half a country away, I was in Colorado.  Apprehensively, I had quit my job without a two weeks notice, finding to my surprise that my boss wasn't broken up about it at all!  He was actually excited for me, and wished me the best with my trip.  I arrived at my friend's house, and unpacked my stuff, when no sooner had I set up camp that a friend of mine called me up out of the blue.  Curious as to why he called, he told me, "You'll never believe this.  The place you were just working?  They just closed down yesterday."  I hadn't been out of Ohio a week, and the place I had been working the last three months had just went out of business!  Had I stayed in Ohio, I wouldn't even have had a job.  By now, I knew I was finally learning to listen to God again.  But I hadn't gotten a hold on it just yet.

Settling in to Colorado, my plan was to find a job during the opening to the busy snow boarding season.  My friend, and everyone I ran into, were all sure it'd be super easy to get a job.  With all the snowboarders and skiiers coming, this was the time when everyone needed new employees for the season.  So, I applied to a bunch of jobs, all the time praying, "Christ, is this really what you have for me?"  I had it all planned out in my mind.  I was going to live in Colorado for a while, get an apartment with some other guys, and work a job in the highest paying county in Colorado.  After saving up for a while, I would go into the missions field as I finally wanted to, with all my own money guaranteeing my safety.  God had other plans.

A week and half into Colorado, I had been praying every day.  I spent most of my time while waiting on job response playing my cello and waiting on God for His guidance.  It came to the time when I was calling into businesses to see if they had seen my application.  Every one I called said they weren't hiring.  I didn't understand!  Everyone had said it was a sure thing.  So I prayed about it, and got something I didn't expect, "This isn't where you're supposed to be."  I was shocked.  Here I was in the mountains of Colorado, a state I'd never been to before now, with only my car, and my belongings, and I wasn't supposed to be there.  But God had spoken, and I knew it was for sure.  I felt more unstable than I had my entire life.  With nowhere to go, I just decided to trust in Him.  A friend of mine was doing his DTS in Colorado Springs, and I hadn't seen my brother in Utah yet, so I decided I'd visit my friend, and then my brother, and hope God would reveal something more in the process.

Colorado Springs

I went to Colorado Springs to visit my friend, pulling up with everything I owned in the back of my 95 Nissan Altima.  Here was another YWAM base.  Nothing like San Francisco.  A former Hilton hotel, YWAM Colorado Springs Strategic Frontiers (ironically also called SF) staffed well over 100 people, and was completely different than San Francisco's mid-city base.  I caught up with my friend, and spent some time with all the friends he'd made on the DTS, and started to get a sense for the base.  One night, my friend and I decided to jam a little.  I had brought my cello, so I thought, why not?  In the middle of our playing, a staff member came up to me and said, "I've always loved cello.  I've always wanted to hear it in a worship setting."  I told him I had no idea what I was doing, or where I was supposed to be. He said I should sign up to volunteer there.  It felt right, so I said bring it on!

I applied to volunteer, but the weekend was over, so I packed up my stuff to visit my brother while the application was processing and while they were praying over it.  I told God, "Lord, if I'm supposed to be here, let them accept me.  If not, don't.  Your will be done."  I spent a month in Utah in all, really spending some time with my brother, which was perfect.  And then they called, I was accepted!  I packed my stuff up, and headed on my way, having at least the next three months ahead planned out, which was a lot compared to the time.

Colorado was wonderful.  After I had applied, they saw that I put down my ability in graphic design.  Coincidentally, the base had once had a rather large graphics department, but all the members had left throughout the past two years.  They really needed someone to help design things for them.  It was great!  I was using the things I had taught myself for the purposes of the Kingdom!  It doesn't get better! The staff were all wonderful.  I made friendships that I still maintain, and had plenty of amazing times at this YWAM base in the middle of America.  But after three months, I was antsy.  I didn't really know what God wanted me to do.  I was in Colorado, but is that where he wanted me long term?  I was perfectly fine with it.  Live in a hotel, do graphic design, and all for the spreading of the Gospel!  But I knew the consequences of following my own path and not Christs, so I gave it to Him.

One night, I was tossing and turning in bed, wrestling with God.  I had felt like He had told me all throughout my journey west to 'remember San Francisco'.  I had no idea why.  So I prayed, "God, am I supposed to stay in Colorado, or go to San Francisco?  I don't want to follow my own desires, but I've let myself listen to my own will so much, that I can't tell what's You anymore.  I need to know, where do you want me to go?"  I felt God tell me, "Go to San Francisco."  All of a sudden, an immense feeling of peace flooded over my whole body.  I'd never felt that much peace about something in my entire life.  So that was it, I was going to San Francisco.

Breakdown

Colorado, 4.5 months in, and I was getting ready to follow the road westward to San Francisco.  Along my journey west, I had been using money I had saved working in Ohio to pay for everything.  My time in Breckenridge with my friend, my volunteer time in Colorado Springs, and I had about $450 or so left.  Just enough to get out to San Francisco, and volunteer there for three months as I prayed about staying longer.  I set out to leave, all my stuff packed up.  Put my key in the ignition, and nothing. happened.  No turn over, no start up.  Nothing.  I was crushed.  leaving Colorado, I didn't have working wheels.  What was I going to do?  After my friends had cheered me up, taking me around to different auto places to see if maybe the problem was related to this or that, I decided to have my car taken in to a mechanic.

A line-tow and a phone call later, and I was being told it would cost around $900 to repair, and they needed an answer now, so they could get the part in on time, supposedly.  It would take me everything I had to get my car fixed.  I would have just barely enough money left to fix my car, and limp back to Ohio like a failure.  In fact, the only reason I could pay for the repair, is because my dad had called me right before I planned on leaving to tell me he was cashing out a savings he had for me, and would be giving me around $600.

Now, I don't know much about cars, but something seemed fishy.  Luckly, one of my friends at the base was an ace with cars.  I told him the situation, and he told me not to do it.  We went to a parts store, and got the part they said would cost $600 for $60, and my friend put it in for free.  And guess what?  Still didn't start.  My friend called the shop and told them, the diagnostic we had payed $99 for was wrong.  They had said what needed to be done for the car to run, we had done it, and still nothing. They owed us.  We had told them we were missionaries, and everything we got came from support, so they told us as long as we got the parts we needed, their mechanic would put them in free of charge.  Praise the Lord!  But still, another two parts, with about a $130 or so ticket later, and I still didn't have enough to get out to San Francisco.  But then my dad called me up.  "You know what $600 I told you I'd give you?  Well, I closed the account, and it turns out it was $1,800!"  Praise the Lord!  After all the car fixing, $1,800 was just enough to get out to San Francisco, and pay to live there for three months while I prayed about joining staff, exactly what I felt like God had told me to do.  With my car finally fixed, thanks to some great friends, I was off towards San Francisco.

San Francisco

I arrived in San Francisco, the dirty streets of the Tenderloin where out base resides.  I pulled my car up to the street, parked, and got out.  Entering the base, I was hit with the chaos and bustle YWAMSF.  It was like color flooded into my life; like everything had been in black and white till now.  I knew this was were I was supposed to be.  God had guided me, and here I was.  Staying for the next three months, I prayed about joining staff and felt like God was giving me the go ahead.  I applied, went home to support raise, and got accepted.  After raising all my monthly support, I returned back to San Francisco, where I remain.

God had taken me a long way.  It was the most unsure, convoluted time of my whole life, but it was His plan.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Now, I'm head over our Communications Department, living as a Missions Communicator.  It's my job to raise awareness about everything going on with YWAM San Francisco, to get people to find out DTS like I found mine, and to spread the Gospel of Christ in the city, while equipping other people to come alongside us in doing so.  One long crazy journey down, my life will never be the same.  I don't always know what the future will hold, but I'm putting it in God's hands from now on.  I've learned, it's the only place its safe.